Friday, 15 January 2016

Clinton Clone 13

Made this in the photo shops and posted it to G+, was too funny and didn't want it to disappear so..

'Clinton Clone 13' a stasis frozen battle-clone from the United Nations of America commemorative-bloodsports, circa 3030 al (after Lincoln)

I'm playing him in a hyper gonzo space opera setting tomorrow, been doing my best Clinton impression when im alone - like some weird Gollum. Shits gunna be rad.

Wednesday, 13 January 2016

Asking Your Employees To Do Off Key Shit

House ruling out loud. Stop me if i'm talking out my arse.

So hirelings are just people you employ to do very unusual and dangerous jobs. I was thinking about this whilst watching a co worker using the kitchen sink, I wondered what his reaction would be if I told him there was 150 quid in the food processor, heres 20 quid and i'll split it with you if you get it out. Might go off mind you.

Commanding people to do dumb shit for money is all about your relationship to the person. Charisma.

From now on, every-time a player asks a hireling to do some dangerous-ass-shit im putting a tally by the npc's name. You need this many Charisma to enjoy the ride, sorry. You reset that when the boss character levels. In my games hirelings level when characters do - so another reason for job satisfaction.

Additional thing.

When hiring, choose from 3 abstract types of employee.

Complete Waster : d6
9-5'er : d4
Mega Keen : 0

The NPC starts with that many tallies when taken into employment. Im also going to make PC's fill out HR forms and stipulate clauses in contracts because fuck those meat-emoji PC bastards.

Friday, 1 January 2016


I really hate (during campaign play) people just acquiring spells as they level - like they just magically appeared in the spell book? pffft! I'm with you on dragons and car parks full of solid gold coins, but that's just one step too far!

Here's an idea I had for a gonzo campaign I might never run. Each Spell is unique - much like Highlander there can be only one, every magic user that a player creates - starts with one spell (randomly determined, re-rolled if the spell already exist in the world)

The only way to gain more spells is by stealing them from other Wizards. That's it.

Suddenly who has what spells became uber important, their actual acquisition roots for adventure - thanks for the hand out PHB but we make our own fun!

Some spells will be forgotten, if the Magic user dies and doesn't pass them on. Nobody knows them, I'd imagine they can be found on dusty scrolls at the bottom of a Dread Beholder's tomb. Apprentices just became important too. Double Dipper!

Also Happy New Year you Bastards.

Monday, 30 November 2015


Download my ultra-light, mega streamlined OD&D hack HERE, 100% OSR compatible, May Contain Nuts. Feedback appreciated.

  • Tracking time added, monster damage adjusted, equipment list, class abilities changed to advantage, usage die added, typos & shit.
  • Powerful monsters rule added, 40 Monster stats added, monster saves removed, more typos and shit

Wednesday, 28 October 2015


So a while back I posted about a simple 3 die (one page paragraph) RPG system. Read it here. So i've got another one - it's a little bit longer, but whatev's yo'.

Each character has 3d20, one for Body, Mind and Soul. These are Effort die. Players roll these die to to complete tasks, they need to roll a 4 or higher to succeed at any task - but if they do succeed they lose that die. A player can 'split' the d20's up, turning them into 2d10 or a d12 and a d8. Whatever combination of d4's to d12's they can - and they can 'reform' die together whenever too. Some tasks have an minimum level of effort, requiring a minimum Effort die to be rolled to accomplish the task, for example a d6 or a d20. Tools give you an advantage, increasing any Effort die to the next highest one d8 to a d10 for example. When you run out Effort die in any area you can no longer contribute to the adventuring until you have rested.

Wednesday, 21 October 2015


I've been very busy writing #HIVELIFE1979 so my time spent here on my blog has really dried up, but there's something I wanted to post for both you and for me. Whilst I don't think there's an absolute formula for a successful 'scripted' adventure - I know if I can get what I write to do the following things, its going to work on a primal 'reason to be engaged and get some closure' level.  It's just a skeleton, if the meat on the bones is shit, then the whole experience will leave a bad taste - but if you pack loads of imaginative and fun things that happen and the players can do, you're onto a winner.

It follows a basic scriptwriting technique of 8 steps (or key scenes)

1 - Status Quo & Inciting Incident  - The  world is shown to the players and they're told where they fit into it. Something happens that propels them to step 2

2 - Predicament & Lock In - The thing that happened at the end of the last scene now leaves the players with a problem or conflict they have to sort out. Their first step towards this goal puts them on a path they cant easily get off.

3 - First Obstacle & Raising the stakes - The characters must overcome the first step towards their goal this could be a medium sized dungeon or wilderness/urban area, also a number of options or resources should be taken away from them.

4 - First Culmination - The reason options have been removed in step 3 should be resolved, and it should be a harder task than they tackled before. Tone is important here, it should mirror the tone of the desired outcome and overall adventure.

5 - Subplot & Raising the stakes - The players will thank you for a little distraction, not too far off course but something thats not directly pivotal to the main plot, but is connected somehow. A great place to weave in some setting or story exposition. Continue to remove options or resources.

6 - Main Culmination - This is where the players deal with the final threat, the BBEG or whatever. They think they're done, this should mirror the vibe going on in step 4. Also you could give them some inkling its not quite over.

7 - New Tension and/or Twist - Everyone loves an encore, or facing the puppet master - the players should figure it all out and deal with that shit here.

8 - Resolution - They all live happily ever after, or do they? This doesn't even need to be played (although its fun to do it, but make it quick) just wrap up the events of the game with a short and concise 'read aloud box' if you want - players wont feel cheated as they should have had the satisfying ending of step 7.

Some further advice I've been thinking about. Some people will tell you scripted adventures are shit as you've got a railroad for the players to run on. I don't think thats the case if you do a couple of things. Plan what the bad guys are going to do - and plan what happens if the players don't stop them. The rest you make up at the table.

Wednesday, 16 September 2015



Gangs & Factions
The Sheriff of Slough
Warlord Tony and the Smiley Boys
Yabber Boys
Rotterdam Terror Crew
Waste Nomads
Petrol Heads
Civil Servants
Womens Institute
The Bakers Dozen

Robots & Monsters
Flick-Knife Kids
Lusardi Bot
Cassette Face Bastard
Void Frogs
Psychic Diseases
Giant Slug
Fish Guys
Phasic Ameoba
A.I. in Mundane Objects

Special Individuals
Duke of Peckham
Nanna Hood
Donny Muurda
Tinfoil Brothers
Andy the Automaton

The Black Snake
Asbestos Sisters