Monday, 31 August 2015

A pretty useless one paragraph RPG system thing.

I made this whilst brainstorming rules for #HIVELIFE1979 (oh you haven't heard yet?) and came up with this as a fun experiment, kind of inspired by Ultima Online, what I played far too much of as a kid and +Oli Palmer. Not sure if this is ripping something off, I just needed to get it out of my brain.

Every character has 3 stats, Strength, Dexterity, Intelligence, assign a d6, d8 and d12 to each. You roll one of those die when testing your attributes - needing a 5-7 for success, or 8-12 for success with a benefit. Everyone has HP equal to the max Strength Die. Each hit in combat deals 1 wound, 2 with Heavy weapons. Resolve landing hits as you would an attribute test. You can get armour die, d4 or d6, when you take a hit roll it, if you roll 4+ you ignore the damage.Wizards make up their own spells because they're wizards. Thieves get a +1 to any roll once per turn. Warriors start with 2 extra HP.


Friday, 21 August 2015

HIVE LIFE 1979 - its a thing.

"Come friendly bombs and fall on Slough!

It isn't fit for humans now,

There isn't grass to graze a cow.

Swarm over, Death!"

Slough - by John Betjeman. 1937


The Iron Lady rules from Deep Bunker One, 3 miles below London's crater. The year is 1979 and welcome to Slough, the last remaining Hive city in Britain. Don't wander into the Ash waste. And yes, you too can experience the luxury of life inside a compulsory residency hive-facility.

The Tinfoil Brothers extort the market traders downtown, while Donny Muurda sells prohibited weapons from his bedsit compound. Yabber boys drive-by corners over dope and the punks, 2-Tones and greebos compete for tinnies of air at the Disco of Death.

Treasure maps scribbled in Porno mags, Gang warfare, Radioactive Slugs, Slag pits, Psychotic vending machines,Violence, Profuse apologies and Robot car-bombs are a part of daily life here.

And all the while the hive heaves upwards building on its waste, burying the past. 600 years of movement is a lot to forget, treasures from the Renaissance wait amongst unnameable terror for the daring - or desperate to find. Life can be short in Slough, whether you take a chance or not.

Sunday, 16 August 2015

Foam Golem

Trigger warning - puns

Foam Golem's are commonly found being used by spurned lovers spiralling out of control, shitty adolescents who haven't got a clue what they're fucking with and completely deranged masochist that thinks its funny to watch you get smothered to death by a semi-sentient mattress.

The general procedure behind creating a foam golem is that you have to kill someone on the foam, and be casting ritual magickzzzz. Thus binding their animus and rage to the foam, bringing it to life.

Foam Golem have a close relationship with their creator, after all they killed it and brought it back as foam, that shits personal. If a creator gives the Foam Golem an order, but hasn't slept on it in the last 24 hours the Foam Golem will make a morale check, if it fails it will - flip out.

If you get a Foam Golem wet enough its weight will quadruple - with all its actions at a disadvantage, but damage doubled and with resistance to all non magical damage.

Sunday, 26 July 2015


  1. The gang members identify themselves by tattooing their little finger on the right hand completely black.
  2. When in their territory the gang lookouts use bird calls to identify police and enemy gang members, these change frequently.
  3. The gangs headquarters is in another district, and they use black birds baked in pies as message runners.
  4. The majority of money the gang makes through the sale of white lotus is funnelled into political donations through a series of front businesses.
  5. The gang is run by two brothers, one of which is attempting to establish himself in a legitimate printing business empire.
  6. Gang members have stashes located in local vacant properties, these rotate every 1d4 days.
  7. The gang use organised giant turtle jousting events as a cover to meet rival gangsters and players for parle.
  8. Members play a dare based game that involves drinking increasingly potent vials of poison.
  9. The gangs main gig is transporting huge sums of illicit valuables sown into counterfeit lederhosen.
  10. The gang bribe the pixies and faeries who live beneath the streets to regularly change the direction of signposts they maintain, to throw off anyone not familiar with their territory during critical moments.

Thursday, 23 July 2015


Check out +Patrick Stuart 's OSR Doctor class, his g+ thread inspired  this, a thing what I done drew :

Damage Dice Roller Rules Yeah!

All damage dice should be rolled on the table, if you take 1/4 your total hitpoints in an area then you take disadvantage on all rolls that utilise that body part. Crit dice always roll maximum, but the location they land in ceases to work, and you will bleed to death in the number of rounds as indicated on the die unless the wound is staunched (cost an action or something). If of course if you can land a crit die on the head - its game over.

This is a5 size, I considered a4 but thought it might be a bit big? I like the idea of the head being a smaller target and rewarding a steady calculated die drop.

You could make a bunch for different creatures - a beholder would be cray cray.

Monday, 20 July 2015

Some things Witch.

  1. Every night a witch transformed into a beautiful black horse visits a virgin girl, she is hypnotising her, making secretly and slowly poison her father.
  2. A witch has lost her giant son, and is looking for people to help her find him.
  3. A witch travels the country side carving deep runes and markings into stones with her finger.
  4. The head of a beheaded witch will repair if rubbed with salt then covered in soil dug under a full moon.
  5. Fishermen know the location of a witch who will sail to the bottom of the ocean for a fee.
  6. A witch asks passers-by to remove a four leaf clover under her chair, she cannot get up whilst it is there, and was tricked into sitting down.
  7. A midwife is a witch maintains perpetual youth by sucking blood from the navals of infants - not killing them so never discovered.
  8. A witch transform her lovers into small woodland animals.
  9. A witch's curse causes a young ruffian to mew like a kitten an neigh like a horse.
  10. A witch terrorises a group of spinning lady's for being lazy, by hexing them with warts and grey hair.

art by thomas evers